It should not come as a surprise that there is some confusion about dating etiquette when it comes to developing a transgender relationship. Since this group of individuals are complex and diverse, there is no “one size fits all” solution, but thankfully there are some basic “do” and “don’t” dating tips to help you successfully navigate in the world of transgender dating and help you develop a friendship or meet lover that will open up new opportunities and experiences for you.
- Use the term “trannies”. It is an offensive and rude slang term.
- Inquire about our surgeries. This is not your business and rude topic of conversation, especially when just starting to get to know each other on a basic intelligent level.
- Ask about our birth names. It could have taken a lot of dedication and effort to re-train family and friends to refer to our new names and probably court fees to make the change legal, so although your curiosity is normal, this question is part of our past and could be very uncomfortable to talk about (especially with new people).
- Make assumptions or have preconceived notions about how the person feels or why they have made a decision to change genders. Listen to the individual (if and when they decide to share this personal information) and learn about their specific situation. Do not be close minded.
- Treat everyone with honor and respect. Ask questions like “what your favorite place to eat” or “where is your favorite vacation spot”. Something like “how are you in bed” is rude and inappropriate behavior.
- Ask about our families. This is a topic that is gender neutral, but will help to allow you get to know someone on a deeper level. In addition, this line of questioning shows that you are generally interested in the person and the people in their life.
- Inquire about hobbies. Again, this is comfortable gender neutral topic that everyone loves to talk about. Also, this topic helps you get an understanding of what the other person loves to do and has a passion for (For example: hiking, cooking, bar hoping, volunteering, etc.)
- Do ask about future goals and dreams. Everyone gets energized when they are talking about their future and the great plans that they have for their career (for instance).
- Complement our general appearance. For example, “you have great hair” is a great opening line. Other great flirty, non-gender adjectives include (but are not limited to): “sexy”, “attractive”, “hot” and even “adorable”. It is advised to steer away from adjectives that tend to be gender related.
- Be safe. No matter who you are dating, or where you meet (online, personals, etc.) always proceed with caution. There are evil people in the world and you do not want to ignore “red flags”.
- Be patient. It could take a little bit of time and effort to find your TS single match. Remember that anything that is worthwhile is worth waiting for. Do not be discouraged, there is someone special for you!
Have a happy and positive attitude about life and happy dating!